In second grade, favorite colors were a very big deal. They were the start of all icebreakers. The beginning of friendships. The information that could make or break you.
I’m being slightly dramatic, but you get my point.
During my first day of class, my life changing greeting went something along the lines of, “Hi I’m Madelynne and my favorite colors are red, white, and blue!” But, unfortunately, to a room of very judgmental and close-minded seven year olds, having three favorite colors was not allowed…even if you were just trying to be patriotic.
So, of course, I did what any sensible second grader would do, and quickly combined all three colors together to create lavender. And from then on, my greeting became, “Hi I’m Madelynne and my favorite color is lavender!”
And that was that.
Lavender just became something that I associated with being Madelynne. And it wasn’t long until everyone else did too. My birthday cards became lavender, the walls of my room became lavender, and anything my mom picked out for me was lavender.
Everything that I owned had some sort of lavender aspect to it…except for things that I bought for myself. Because even though lavender is a lovely color, it wasn’t really my favorite anymore.
I began to notice other things.
I loved the calmness of blue and the things it reminded me of: the ocean, vast skies, bright eyes, rain drops, and song birds.
I loved the brightness of yellow and the things it made me feel: happiness, excitement, joy, and energy.
But for some reason, I didn’t want to tell anyone that my favorite color had changed. I felt bad that a part of me was different. And maybe this is the dramatic side of me talking again, but I felt like I was disappointing my second grade self.
Except, if I was really being true to the “me” I was at seven years old, my favorite books would still consist of all pictures, my favorite movies would still be only about princesses, I would have a very limited number of friends, and I would still shop in the children’s section of clothing stores.
The fact of the matter is that change is inevitable and necessary. It’s what makes us capable of growth. It’s nearly impossible to make a decision at one point in your life and then hold on to it for the rest of your years without feeling some growing pains.
Opinions change. Feelings change. Thoughts change.
And this has to happen.
Because this is how we grow.
It would be utterly boring to be the exact same person and possess the exact same mindset for your entire life.
So don’t feel bad if your favorite color changes. Don’t feel bad if you outgrow your clothing or your style. Don’t feel bad if your attitude shifts. Don’t feel bad if you decide to change your mind about something.
You don’t need to feel confined to the decisions that a former “you” made.
You are allowed to change your mind.
Again: change is inevitable. Change is necessary.
And change is okay.